


LUNCH

by NB_Cecil



Series: Doctors and Lizards [38]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018), Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Bow’s Dads, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crack Relationships, F/F, F/M, Family Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Lunch, M/M, Multi, OT4, Twitterfic, Typos, nobody actually fucks a lizard, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-23 04:23:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21314122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NB_Cecil/pseuds/NB_Cecil
Summary: A Garashir/Bow’s Dads OT4 twitter thread which expanded into a cracky as all crack family fluff DS9 x She-Ra crossover fic, copied-and-pasted typos and all here for your enjoyment. Expect no continuity.
Relationships: Benjamin Sisko & His SpaceFamily, Bow’s siblings & Lance & George & Picard’s Love Interest From Stellar Cartography, Entrapta (She-Ra) & Miles O’Brien, Glimmer (She-Ra) & Kira Nerys, Hordak & Female Founder, Hordak (She-Ra) & Skrain Dukat, Julian Bashir & Benjamin Sisko, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak/Lance (She-Ra)/George (She-Ra), Julian Bashir/Lance/George/Miles O’Brien/Garak, Julian Bashir/Miles O'Brien, Julian Bashir/Sea Hawk (She-Ra), Kelas Parmak & George (She-Ra), Kira Nerys/Keiko O'Brien/Miles O'Brien, Mermista & Elim Garak, Miles O’Brien & Rom (Star Trek) & OC, Nog & Jake Sisko, Perfuma (She-Ra) & Keiko O’Brien, Scorpia & Corat Damar & Lonnie, Skrain Dukat & Catra (She-Ra), Weyoun (Star Trek) & Shadow Weaver
Series: Doctors and Lizards [38]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1176323
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	LUNCH

AHHHHDGSJSHSDS WHAT IF “Lunch” is a just an typo in the Universal Translator’s Cardassian > Standard dictionary?  🤣🤣🤣

  


Brb, writing this Garashir & ✨ BOW’S DADS ✨ fic no-one asked for. #LUNCH  🤣

The crossover to end all crossovers.

IMAGINE THE LITERARY DUSCUSSIONS when Julian and Elim visit the Library.

Garabowsdadsshir: the crackship OT4 no-one asked for but everyone needs AMIRITE??  ✨🦎

Garak and George bond over their PTSD; Bashir and Lance bond over their neuroatypicality.

Bow, the Best Friends Squad, Bow’s 13 siblings and five billion adopted Cardassian-Bajoran orphans show up unexpectedly; Lance makes SNACKS and George cracks out the baby photos; Garak and Bashir sob quietly in a corner at the joy of being part of a large, chaotic, loving family.

SEA HAWK arrives; Garak tries earnestly to engage him in a discussion of Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island; Sea Hawk SINGS; the crack open the kanar; Julian and Sea Hawk get increasingly Extra as the kanar diminishes.

Mermista to Garak: 

“He’s JUST my ride.”

Bashir/Sea Hawk: I ship it. Bisexual power couple.

MILES, KEIKO, and KIRA (queer parenting collective) and their KIDS show up.

Miles: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOIN’ ON HERE?

Frosta: *shrugs and scowls*

MILES and ENTRAPTA set to TINKERING with some ancient, mysterious First One’s Tech...

GLIMMER and KIRA share guerilla tactics in their respective roles resisting the Fright Zone and Cardassian Occupation.

KELAS PARMAK arrives; he and GEORGE converse together in a quiet, dignified manner.

SWIFTWIND arrives in a flurry of OTT camp. He delights in being the centre of the kids’ attention, letting them braid his hair, taking them for flights around the Library, and regaling them with exaggerated tales of his heroism.

ADORA mutters “eternia, duh” (does she ever learn?) as she walks past MILES, ENTRAPTA and their mysterious First One’s Tech. The Tech springs to life and terrorises everyone UNTIL...

JADZIA and her BAT’LETH show up and engage the Tech in combat.

The TECH is DEFEATED/fed whatever artefact it was trying to protect and a tolerable level of chaos is restored. LANCE adjusts his spectacles.

  


PARMAK adjusts his spectacles too.

  


KEIKO treats a honey fungus infection on PERFUMA’s magic tree; PERFUMA teaches KEIKO that “grow plants really quick” magic. (RIP MILES and JULIAN’s model of the Alamo  😂 )

MILES, ROM and [a friend’s Disaster Engineering Ensign OC who will be anon here bc I haven’t asked permission to include her] notice the SEA GATE is leaking; they reach for their flux couplers...

CAPTAIN NOG (RIP Aron  💔 ) arrives in an ethereally beautiful First One’s Tech Ship, with his pal JAKE on board.

  


JAKE interviews the Princess Alliance for the Federation News Service.

Over in the Fright Zone, HORDAK and DUKAT conspire; WEYOUN and SHADOW WEAVER attempt to administrate a sinking ship...

Oh wait, no. DUKAT and CATRA do the hard graft and while HORDAK and the FEMALE FOUNDER conspire. DAMAR, SCORPIA and LONNIE are left to do the actual soldiering.

Everyone rushes outside (they’re all the Library, right? Just go with it. Who needs continuity anyway?) when they notice that STARS have appeared in the SKY. BOWS DADS, PICARD’s STELLAR CARTOGRAPHY LOVE-INTEREST (what’s her name? Anyway, she’s here too), and a couple of

BOW’s ESPECIALLY NERDY SIBLINGS rush to gather up old star maps.

The STARS in the SKY drift and swirl in seemingly random motion.

UNTIL... they coalesce into a recognisable shape: 

THE FACE OF SPACEDAD SISKO, aka BAJORAN JESUS (think: the Lion King).

<<MY CHILDREN>>

SISKO’s voice rumbles from the SKY

He surveys the carnage...

<<I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR FIVE MINUTES AND YOU DO THIS????!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!>>

Bashir: *blushes, hangs head, shuffles feet awkwardly, mumbles* Sorry, Dad... *face brightens* Er, sooo... we need to borrow a runabout.

Spacedad: <<I’M WAITING...>>

Bashir: Well, you see, my BOYRIENDS *puts arm round Garak, Lance, George, Sea Hawk and Miles* want to go on a road trip to BAJOR.

~FIN~

In case you feel like coming at me to complain you couldn’t suspend your disbelief through Julian being able to reach his arm around FIVE people (because the rest of this is entirely believable, right?): HAVEN’T YOU EVER MET A GENETIC AUGMENT BEFORE? They can Just. Do. Stuff. Ok?

**Author's Note:**

> As always, comments and kudos are love (even if your comment in this case is “wtf did I just read?”).


End file.
